In family gatherings, it’s worth noting that our aunts and other relatives plan a dress code for events, and everyone follows it except us. When someone asks us why we are not part of it, we feel embarrassed and don’t know what to say.
When everyone took the time to plan a dress code together and follow it, why were we left out? Maybe they thought we couldn’t afford new clothes, or that we are incapable of buying them—I’m not sure. It clearly feels like we are being excluded.
These experiences may feel embarrassing, but they have also taught us important lessons. They made it clear that we are not truly considered part of their family, and we have come to accept that. Because of this, some may come to the conclusion that they should attend only the functions of their very close relatives—those who genuinely value their presence and would feel their absence.
However, we do enjoy attending our friends’ family functions. Even if some of our friend’s relatives are like our high-class relatives, it never feels like a problem. As a friend, we are accepted as we are; wearing a simple, neat outfit with little to no jewellery does not matter. In contrast, as relatives, there seems to be an expectation to dress grandly and wear expensive ornaments just to be acknowledged and included. Only then do they seem willing to socialize with us.
One single day is enough to reshape our opinions about relatives and high-class people—about who truly deserves our association. We set out for the function with happiness, but come back with a broken heart and a deeper realization about the people we once held in high regard.
We are not here to put anyone down for their behaviour. Instead, these experiences remind us that being a middle-class girl or woman is nothing to be ashamed of. Our responsibility is to focus on our education, build our careers, and improve our lives— not to please so-called high-class relatives, but to support our parents and live with dignity.
Social and family gatherings are not the only sources of happiness. There are many other places to explore and experiences to enjoy that can bring peace to our mind. Within our budget, we can create such moments, filled with happiness and contentment. While we are working on improving our standard of living, we should also spend time creating nostalgic moments.
We don’t have to hate anyone because of these experiences. However, we still have some good people in our relatives’ circle, so we should feel happy about them—people who genuinely value and respect us for who we are, regardless of our status. We should spend quality time with them, as it is a way of showing respect for their kindness and goodness towards us.