The Invisible Line Between Privilege and Merit
The debate over favoritism vs merit is something many people silently experience in schools, colleges, and professional environments, yet rarely speak about publicly.
It is an invisible line that separates people with influence from those who come from ordinary backgrounds. Some people receive opportunities because of their family reputation, appearance, financial status, or personal connections, while others have to struggle for every small opportunity despite putting in equal or even greater effort.
This article is not about blaming every institution or every teacher. Throughout my life, I have met many wonderful educators and managers who treated everyone equally. But I have also witnessed situations where favoritism quietly decided who got noticed and who remained invisible.
Many people from zero-background families will relate to this feeling.
When Influence Speaks Louder Than Fairness
During our school days, some parents naturally became favourites of the institution.
Sometimes they were well-known personalities in society. Sometimes they had influential relatives. Sometimes they were generous donors who maintained a close relationship with the school management.
Whether intentional or not, they often received privileges that ordinary parents never experienced.
One incident from my childhood has remained fresh in my memory.
A Parent-Teacher Meeting I Never Forgot
I was studying in the eighth standard.
It was a Saturday parent-teacher meeting.
My mother and I patiently stood in a long queue along with many other parents and students for nearly an hour.
Every parent who entered the classroom spent around ten to fifteen minutes discussing their child’s academic performance.
Suddenly, an influential parent arrived. Without standing in the queue, she walked directly into the classroom. Neither the teacher nor anyone else questioned why she skipped the line.
She remained inside for almost thirty minutes discussing only her child’s progress while dozens of parents continued waiting outside.
No apology.
No acknowledgement.
Nothing.
As a young student, I could not understand why one person’s time was considered more valuable than everyone else’s.
That day taught me something beyond academics.
It showed me that favoritism sometimes exists even in places where fairness is expected the most.
The Same Faces Always on the Stage
School annual days, cultural events, competitions and performances often followed a familiar pattern.
The same group of students appeared on the stage repeatedly.
Sometimes a few new faces joined them, but they usually belonged to the next circle of favorites.
Meanwhile, many talented students who were willing to learn never received an opportunity.
Ironically, the situation changed completely during Sports Day.
For march-past practice, schools suddenly needed hundreds of students.
Everyone was expected to participate.
Standing under the hot sun for hours wasn’t the problem.
The problem was that equality appeared only when institutions needed numbers.
For key spotlight moments, only the favorites were considered.
Every Interested Student Deserves an Opportunity
Not every student is naturally talented in dance, singing or drama.
Many students simply need someone to teach them.
Schools and colleges have a beautiful responsibility beyond academics.
They shape confidence.
They reduce stage fear.
They help children discover talents they never knew they possessed.
If a student is genuinely interested and willing to learn, why shouldn’t that student receive proper training and an opportunity to perform?
Talent grows with encouragement.
Confidence grows with opportunity.
Opportunity should never depend on popularity.
A Positive Change That Gives Me Hope
Fortunately, I see a refreshing difference in my daughter’s school today.
Every student participates in dance programmes.
No child is excluded.
From Pre-KG to Class 11, every student gets an opportunity to perform, while Class 10 and 12 students are usually exempted because of board examinations.
Watching every child perform together is heartwarming.
No child feels left out.
No child wonders why someone else was chosen repeatedly.
I do not know whether every school follows this practice, but I genuinely appreciate the effort made by my daughter’s school to create equal opportunities.
It proves that change is possible.
Teachers Who Made a Difference
Not every teacher shows favoritism.
In every class I studied, I can remember at least two or three teachers who treated every student equally.
They appreciated us when we performed well.
They corrected us when we made mistakes.
Sometimes they scolded us, but we understood that correction was part of their responsibility.
Students are capable of recognising the difference between discipline and discrimination. A teacher correcting a mistake is completely different from a teacher repeatedly favouring only a selected group of students.
Children notice these differences much earlier than adults think.
The Same Story Continues in Workplaces
Many people assume favoritism exists only in schools or colleges. Unfortunately, similar experiences can continue in professional life.
Imagine a team consisting of ten employees under one team leader.
Among those employees, everyone knows who consistently performs the best.
Daily targets.
Performance metrics.
Attendance.
Extended work hours.
Additional responsibilities.
Customer appreciation.
Helping teammates.
Everyone within the team knows who genuinely contributes the most because these achievements are visible every day.
Naturally, everyone expects that person to receive the next promotion or salary hike.
But reality does not always work that way.
Sometimes another employee receives the promotion instead.
The official explanation may mention customer appreciation, communication skills, or leadership qualities.
Those factors are certainly important.
However, there are occasions when colleagues genuinely feel that the promoted employee was not the strongest overall performer based on the team’s visible day-to-day contributions.
This creates disappointment—not because someone succeeded, but because merit appears to have taken a back seat.
When Personal Relationships Outweigh Performance
Many employees have experienced situations where someone who joined the organisation later progressed much faster.
Meanwhile, employees with stronger performance records remained in the same designation year after year.
Opportunities like:
- Team Leader
- Subject Matter Expert (SME)
- Quality Analyst
- Trainer
- Process Specialist
- Other leadership roles
sometimes seem easier to access for those who have stronger personal rapport with decision-makers.
Not every promotion is unfair. Leadership requires qualities beyond performance numbers.
However, when deserving employees repeatedly feel overlooked despite consistent contributions, questions naturally arise about whether every decision is based solely on merit.
Favoritism vs Merit: How to Stay Motivated When Ignored
Despite these disappointments, one truth remains constant.
Knowledge can never be taken away. Skills can never be stolen.
Experience always belongs to the individual who earned it.
A hardworking employee may face delays.
A sincere student may miss opportunities.
But the learning gained through consistent effort becomes an asset for life.
Whether growth happens within the same organisation or elsewhere, genuine ability eventually creates new opportunities. Sometimes success simply takes a longer route.
Loyalty Should Never Replace Justice
There is nothing wrong with loyalty.
Teachers naturally build strong bonds with students.
Managers develop trust with team members.
Schools appreciate supportive parents.
These relationships are part of human nature.
The problem begins when loyalty starts replacing fairness. Favoritism is not merely helping someone. It often means taking away an opportunity that rightfully belonged to another deserving individual.
That is where the real injustice begins.
Loyalty should never come at the cost of someone else’s hard work, dedication, and sacrifice.
The Good People Still Exist
Thankfully, every institution also has people who remain fair.
Teachers who encourage every student.
Managers who reward genuine performance.
Interviewers who select talent over recommendations.
Leaders who value integrity more than personal friendships.
Think about it.
Despite all the favoritism we may encounter, many of us still clear competitive interviews, earn jobs, build careers, and continue progressing.
That itself proves one important truth.
There are still people who perform their responsibilities with honesty. There are still people who choose merit over influence. Without such individuals, many deserving people would never receive opportunities at all.
Success May Be Delayed, But It Is Not Denied
Life often tests our patience.
Sometimes promotions are delayed.
Sometimes opportunities are missed.
Sometimes recognition comes much later than expected.
But delays do not define our destination.
Our skills continue to grow.
Our knowledge continues to increase.
Our character continues to strengthen.
Eventually, these qualities open doors that favoritism cannot permanently keep closed.
Continue learning.
Continue improving.
Continue working with integrity.
The world may not always reward merit immediately, but genuine ability has a way of finding its rightful place
Final Thoughts
Every place has two sides.
Justice and injustice.
Fairness and favoritism.
Opportunity and exclusion.
The reality is that favoritism does exist in some schools, colleges, and workplaces. Yet, so do fairness, integrity, and people who genuinely believe in giving everyone an equal chance.
If you come from a zero-background family, never assume your journey ends because someone else received an opportunity that you deserved.
Your progress may be slower.
Your path may be harder.
But your hard work is building something that favoritism can never provide—real knowledge, resilience, experience, and character.
Those qualities stay with you for life and eventually lead you to opportunities where merit truly matters.